Hindsight
I was twenty-one
Working three jobs
Had two other roommates
Neither of them could keep jobs
For whatever reason or other
College courses were growing harder
The will in me to rearrange my schedule
One more time, for one more person or thing
Became absolutely much too much for me
At the time
I knew everything about
Absolutely nothin’
One night when I had been
manic cleaning my apartment
Knee deep in laundry
Alone, and pouring shots
My Nokia phone rang
It was my dad calling to chat
Things for him became
As clear as my next shot of vodka
That my life was as clear as mud
We decided that night
Maybe I needed a break
From more than just the bottle
I moved back in with my parents
For six months straight
I followed rules that were not fun
There was nothing cool about it
At the time
I knew everything
About absolutely nothing.
He once said
He made the claim once
“When you become a parent, you look at your child and say this how much dad loved me.”
My house, my rules
I remember at times
Being so angry with him
To take my rage of the world
Somehow place it all on him
I didn’t realize at the time
That my dad had simply
Created a lean to
Took all my pain
Gave it a place holder
A much needed curfew
Through it I survived
I hope I teenagers see
That sometimes
The price of freedoms
Might be really high
But our love costs nothing and
Waits in the silence of home.
3 thoughts on "Hindsight"
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Beautiful homage to your dad.
Love: “Created a lean to/Took all my pain/Gave it a place holder/A much needed curfew/Through it I survived
Thank you, I just realized there were several typos in there! Thank you for seeing it through and looking past them!
Adulting is hard. glad you had a loving, knowing dad.