1. Find a cat.
2. See if it wants to come live at your house.
3. Take it to your house anyway.
4. Feed it when it does a meow until you learn which meow means hungry.
5. Cross your fingers about the bathroom situation.
6. When it digs in the plant say, “Oh well, that is what comes of living with a creature that is curious.”
7. When it scratches your couch say, “Oh well, that is what comes of living with a creature with claws.”
8. Put foil on your plant and couch anyway. This is called training. It may or may not work.
9. Take to walking lightly so you don’t accidentally step on the cat’s tail or frighten it with abrupt movements.
10. Learn such phrases as, “Why are you licking me?” and, “Please don’t bite my toe.”
11. Take the cat to the vet. Hear the vet say, “This is a confident cat. There is no fear here.”
12. Say, “Thank you,” even though the cat was like that before you met it.
13. Pet the cat. Give it a scratching post and empty boxes as a peace offering.
14. Realize you will never “own” a cat. But if you pay attention to the one living with you, you may learn some things about cats and people.