as a child I loved the dark

not even to be a contrarian

my friends all harbored nightlights

or some stupid as seen on tv glow in the dark toy

but I remember kicking and screaming (in a good way)

invisibly of course in the dark

because no one could see


and i could be less than perfect

I could be the golden child that didn’t sparkle in the shadows

the movie theater lights would dim

and even the bright screen couldn’t phase me

I’d scatter popcorn kernels between the cracks of my seat

and giggle too loudly as if no one could hear me

but then the lights came back

those goddamn lights

to show the world

the mess under my seat

the ones oh so visible once the chair flips up

it was like my baggage my trauma

in greasy over dyed yellow

accompanying deep red carpet

what is worse is that I didn’t have to clean it

I was too young for responsibility

now it has been a year since I’ve been to the movies

and the sun sets later in the day

so you can see my worries on my face

on my legs

for forbidden lovers to trace

and I am still here

waiting for the comfort of the dark

the only place I blend in

the only place I seldom cover up

the place where I am me

and my body is mine

for me to feel

and keep