I Made Do
I made do when my Mother’s suffocating Love nearly took my breath away
I made do when I was 40 days old fighting for my life in an oxygen tank
I made do every weekend when my Father’s gambling addiction took him off to the races
& Welte’s smoke filled Lo Ball Card Rooms in South San Francisco
I made do when I survived my Mother’s family’s incest, the secrets, & violations, too taboo to talk about
I made do when my love & expression of ART was organized, parochialized, categorized, rolled up in a green oil cloth
I made do when I was taken off stage & had to give my wooden shoes to a cuter, petite, 2nd grade classmate who lived in a bigger prettier house, smiled wider, braids thicker
I made do when I was fat, wore glasses & knew all the answers
I made do when I joined a competitive synchronized swim team & my best was not blue ribbon best
I made do when I fell in the lower half of the bell curve in a private girls’ school where they all played smarter than me
I made do when I D’ed out of Chemistry & French & took Spanish instead
I made do when my typing 90+ wpm’s financed my fours years of college
I made do each and every time He dumped me for her ~ & I kept pushing that door I thought I had to open ~ even though it always remained shut!
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I see you in triumph over all the obstacles and insensitivity you encountered Darlene..and it does seem to be true that we all need to believe the doors will open –or at least carry the belief that will fuel us –I loved reading “my typing 90+ wpm’s financed my fours years of college” — that was great pushing! I also love the repeat of “I made do..” all through this poem—it really worked splendidly…Keep pushing!!