I remember
I remember
the house like it wasn’t mine the house we once lived in together
like it belonged to someone else the sun is descending—flaming ruby because Mama drank the rent money squeezed and pressed
I see the house in flashes seam of white daylight refracts to walls
like a movie reel, film flapping loose stripped of color and breath
the house sits with others like it except the guest room
sidewalk bulges where my belongings live
with tree roots on the wall hangs a print yard dotted with dandelions a young woman hair thick-braided yearns for a cut bends head & shoulder
gravel driveway empty waits in water-unworthy no working man’s car wooden boat weary
locked out permanent-like from hopeful waiting
not the kind of locked out she knows
where you forget your keys the score of scars
the kind of locked out where white-wash sound
where your key hollows until she
doesn’t fit in the lock anymore
18 thoughts on "I remember"
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The form is interesting to read up and down, back and forth like 2 little strips of film playing against one another.
Glad you liked it and followed it well!
love the use of “hollows” as a verb in the penultimate line
Thanks!
magnificent! The form is amazing and perfect. Definitely a talent!
Thanks Wendy! A delightful surprise for me in the experiment!
I love this, Pam. The poem takes me to the house. “I remember/ the house like it wasn’t mine” really drew me in, and I loved going back and forth between two solid poems. The ending is also perfect.
Thanks, Nancy. The ending that developed in the pairing surprised and delighted me!
Love this one, Pam! This phrase really grabbed me: wooden boat weary. So good!
BTW, I keep meaning to ask–is the photo of you? Or your mother? If the latter, you look exactly like her!
Thanks!
The photo is of me and my Newfoundland buddy! We were background extras in a movie. He got paid the same as me 🙂
Love the cleaving, counterpoint arrangement here! I think this kind of poem is so hard to write and you’ve done it effortlessly.
where you forget your keys/ the score of scars is so incredibly powerful.
Thanks! I picked two houses in different times of my life and was amazed as the lines played out. Grateful.
What a wonderful experiment for you. I like how this reads several ways!
Thanks Melva! Me too!
lovely, intriguing
Thanks, Pat!
Pam, this is beautiful (even tho’ I know some of the story) on its own! My favorite line–obvious for me–is: “like a movie reel, film flapping loose.”
You rock structure, lady–even if LexPoMo puts us thru the wringer washer to post!
Thanks, Greg! LexPoMo wringer washer may be my poem for tomorrow!