I took the lamp & walked ~ Teilhard de Chardin my accompaniment
& assuming an incredible lightness of being my human burdens transferred to Spirit

Leaving zones of everyday occupations & relationships I embarked upon
one of my darkest walks

The deep abyss whence my power of action emanates fueled a serious decision . . . whether or not to remove Mom’s feeding tube & bring her home
or have the hospital provide morphine euthanasia

As I moved further and further away from conventional certainties
& superficial illuminations
I picked up courage’s armor & brought Mom home
Each step of the descent a new person was disclosed
within me & within Mom
resounding words echoed louder
‘With God all things are possible’

I was no longer sure and yet walking forward these words became

my resolve
my comfort
my salve

When I had to stop because the path faded beneath my steps
I clung to Spirit’s companionship & support even as
I found Nothing but a bottomless abyss at my feet . . .
Truth picked me up

And even when Mom stopped breathing
arising from I know not where
ancestors who had walked this same path before her
filled the room ~ gently taking her by the hand
walked her home . . .

I was left in the current ~ which I dared now to call my life . . .
a daughter, a sister,
a Trustee ~ Fiduciary
a Soul with a light to share . . .