I Took the Lamp with Teilhard de Chardin
I took the lamp assumed an incredible ‘lightness of being’ as I transferred
my human burdens to Spirit
Leaving zones of everyday occupations & relationships
I embarked upon one of my darkest walks
The deep abyss whence my power of action emanates fueled a serious decision
whether or not to remove Mom’s feeding tube and bring her home
or have the hospital provide euthanasia
As I moved further and further away from conventional certainities and superficial illumination
I picked up courage’s armor and brought Mom home
Each step of the descent a new person was disclosed within me and within Mom
Resounding words echoed louder ‘With God all things are possible . . .’
I was no longer sure and yet these words became
When I had to stop because the path faded beneath my steps
I clung to Spirit’s companionship and support
even as I found a bottomless abyss at my feet
Truth picked me up
And even when Mom stopped breathing and
arising from I know not where
Ancestors who had walked this same path before her
filled the room and took her with them . . .
I was left in the current which I dare now to call my life
As a daughter, a sister, Trustee and Fiduciary
2 thoughts on "I Took the Lamp with Teilhard de Chardin"
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This poem comes from such a courageous place within you. Thank you for sharing such a personal relationship you experienced with your Mother and for showing how such difficult time can be made beautiful through poetry.
Thank you for your poem.
Darlene Rose, as more of us age into this phase of life, both as care takers and then as those who need care, I expect a lot of changes in health care and end of life decisions.
I feel your pain, path and current.