scooting back on the toilet seat
i grab bar hanging above me from ceiling
lifting and pushing with legs
until i  lower butt down and feel only
open space beneath me

knees touch down on cool tiled bathroom floor
pressure begins building on knees with lower legs
pinned underneath me, i know not to panic (even 
though i probably should).  eventually after yelling
HELP! several times and getting my dog in on the act
to no availing ears, i come to accept my fate

as my hands begin to lose hold of the trapeze rings.
with my foot straped in i begin to realize the severity
of the situation because the position i am in with my legs
pretzled up under the weight of the remaining two thirds 
of my body.  i drop, squirm and flop (or tried to flop) over
so my knees might be spared the pain of being stuck 
like this but no, like this i remain for over an hour,

the next day the pain is alive and my right leg is compromised,
having to reevaluate how i do basic transfers,  i know i need
to get it checked out so i go (unrelunctantly!) to the ER
which i’ve decided  is not the place to go  during an actual 
emergency.  before i finish composing this sarcastic theory
the nurse calls me back, asks my height and weight, takes my
temperature and blood pressure, tags me and takes me 
to a smaller waiting room where i control the television

this time (i dont watch tv) and where i await a group of ladies
to perform an x-ray on my knee.  then we (my caregiver’s 
with me) wait … and wait … and wait.  finally, tired of this
game, i decide to go, explaining that i will wait to hear “nothing
is broken” until they call.  but before i go i’m given some crucial
advice: take ibiprophin for pain, elevate leg 15 minutes at a

time and ice as needed.   i completely  ignore their suggestions until 
bedtime then SHIT! i’m hurting so i ask if he (my night time 
care giver now) will help me get into bed without bending knee
at all.  he does this like a pro and i’m amazed, then i ask him to get
an icepack for my leg. i put it on and lay there while my body and
mind go numb simultaneously.  next day pain’s gone.