I am too thick to pass
through walls like a specter,
but my presence here is
no less vague.

That clock
and the calendar
you’ve never remembered to move forward
are insignificant and indicative of nothing.

You see through me
except sometimes, your face grays
and I know you are recognizing me whole –
solid and destroyed.

I am stuck in the in-between.

Unable to step through,
perhaps into the harsh light
and the jarring unknown
of life without you.

Unable to sink down,
into the endless dim
and the soft known blur
of what was and is not.

I am an in-between girl,
for now,
one of the shadows in this house.