joy is sneaking around
popping her head out
revealing herself in subtleties
I almost wish she was on vacation
or away on some long work trip
so that I do not have to pander to her tiny niceties
I want to dive deep into the realms of despair
silly, right?
who says that, much less desires
maybe I want the sadness to envelope me because
well, then someone would tell me what I must do
and then I would have no other considerations or decisions
just accept and head upward
the deal though, is that now
I want to create something new, fresh, my own
manifest?
isn’t that what it’s labeled now?
I tell myself that word is for those who have
     wealthy dads or wealthy husbands
     money saved in droves
     or other means which afford them
     a boost
though that’s an excuse, I know
     where there’s a will
     I’m still standing
     it’s not too late
all messages the Universe yells through the clouds
loud enough I hear, take in, and ponder
     it’s hot yet there’s a breeze
     I’m tired but will find a way