awake way too early
I open the blind and observe the pinks of morning
the trees are waving, slowly like a beauty queen in a parade
the day is mine, and I don’t want to ruin it
the fight is there, inside me
release and let go versus hold on and fight
freedom fighting anxiety and I know I hope who wins
I love myself and at times, strongly dislike my behaviors
I tell myself to celebrate my joys even if slightly insubstantial
allow myself to be, could I be, content?
it’s possible but to will oneself to be happy is rather the opposite 
why not try to not be sad, I ask myself and maybe it’s that easy yet I doubt
doubt is the key, I believe
so I try my best to assure myself the truth
wondering if anyone else feels this way, at this moment
and noticing the trees are now, as I look out the window, dancing a wild dance
as if to say, let go