Five have I slain today instead of him.
               A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!
                         Richard III, Act 5, Scene 4

After brutalizing our allies with cheery bonhomie,
he stands before a phalanx of American and North Korean flags,

Is greeted with “Good to meet you, Mr. President!”
and sweet-talked, “May I check out your Cadillac, the Beast?”

In return, Lonelyhearts makes gushing assertions of love,
at their lavish royal wedding,

presents Kim with a video of their happy life together
and gives away the kingdom.