I ran into an English major the other day
Excited, I asked them which was their favorite Faulkner?
they had only read one, and didn’t like it
Disappointed, I asked for a recommendation
Jack Kerouac was as deep as they got

I ran into a History major the other day
Excited, I asked their thoughts on “Gulag Archipelago”
“It wasn’t required”
Disappointed, I asked about “Das Kapital”
“Very important” (but hadn’t read it either)

Yet both were strident
So sure of their opinions
I guess they’re so smart
They don’t need to know anything