(an invention I won’t patent)  

Good Morning,

Effective today the company will require employees to install iScete waste monitoring systems on all personal facilities to continue employment past the August 1 deadline.

The iScrete will continuously monitor employee output and interface with smartphones or fitbit  for reporting.

This enhancement will allow the company to maintain its’ Zero Tolerance Policy and our Wellness Goals for the coming year.

While all found substances will be reported to your HR Mentor and your insurance representative, this will not currently be reported to law enforcement unless required by law in your state.

(Many states already require t-monitoring for social services, driver’s licenses, etc.)

Others using your facilities should carry their smartphones into the bathroom to prevent misidentification.

Undesirable substances in employee excretions may be cause for disciplinary action, up to and including termination. 

See an updated list on our associate website or contact your HR Mentor.

Have a Great Day!  

HR Mgr