One summerI took a job as a Holiday Inn housekeeper 
with a friend. We worked tandem with experienced older
Pennsylvania Dutch women. They schooled us on 
efficiency, speed, and teamwork. Beds were made
military style with corners tucked tight. No monkey
business allowed especially on days when there were
32 rooms to clean in an 8 hour shift. Those no-nonsense 
women hustled us in the sultry July heat hurrying home
to their families waiting for dinner.

“Housekeeping!” I yelled as usual turning the key
since no answer came from the other side. I witnessed 
monkey business galore! A spider monkey jumped
on the bed, shrieked with delight then ran to the dresser 
using his spiral tail and nimble hands to wipe his poo
all over the mirror laughing hysterically. It was a side
show circus. His cage wide open from his crafty hands.
My partner called the office. ” We are not cleaning room
202 with that monkey on the loose again!”

No answer next door in Room 203. So I walked in to
witness a naked man on the slick made bed lying in
wait with a full-on boner. I screamed and ran out
shouting, “No more Monkey Business today!”