I really wish I could wake
every day as the best 
version of me 
where I wouldn’t run
by drinking 
irish whisky so much
that my teeth go numb

I wish I could write the 
right words to unwind 
my guts
from that white-hot center
where I’ve dug and dug and dug
because that’s what I was told 
to do


wake up 
one day 
free of 
that goddamned 
of her 
that got into my 
and changed the sequences
to self destruct