there has been nothing to match
turning those horror VHS 
over in my hands feeling
the etchings of that foil art
wondering where that woman
on the front cover came from
and how to find this place

or the feeling of sitting
in the bedroom with 
movie posters crooked 
on the walls, and the toy 
sets sticking out from
under the bed
while staring at 
at those clear cases
stacked
of movies and games
a week’s worth
crammed into two nights

the weekends became 
a fever dream of sleepless nights
that devoured the first 
part of the weekend
because there was never
any 
joy
found in a Monday