NARRATIVE NEVER USED ON A PRARIE HOME COMPANION LEADING UP TO THE RHUBARB PIE JINGLE
You’re sitting at home one afternoon in your favorite chair
Reading the sports section of your local newspaper,
Which is quite unusual,
Because you don’t follow sports.
Suddenly there’s a knock on the door.
You open the door to see a well-dressed young man
Who asks you if you have heard the Good News.
You answer, “No, but I was actually hoping for some bad news today.”
He gives you a blank stare, turns around and leaves without a word.
You close the door and return to your chair
Only to find your cat there, lying on top of your newspaper.
You start to pick him up, and he hisses at you,
So you gingerly slide the paper out from under him and walk over to the couch.
You sit down and resume reading your paper.
Before you get very far, there is another knock on the door.
You open it to find a well-dressed young lady
Who asks you if you really wanted some bad news.
You say that you did, but that she was too late.
You have already received the bad news you wanted.
She gives you a blank stare, turns around and leaves without a word.
Before you have a chance to close the door,
A tornado touches down and heads right for you.
You run downstairs to the basement
And curl up in the middle of the floor.
In about thirty seconds, your roof is blown off.
When the tornado passes, you carefully emerge from the basement
Only to find yourself in an open-air house with no roof.
Oddly enough, your cat is still in your chair, and the newspaper is still on the coffee table in front of the couch.
You realize you haven’t had lunch yet.
Isn’t this a good time to have a slice of delicious Beebopareebop rhubarb pie?
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This is fun!