now is not a good time
Due next month
my daughter is making
me into a grandmother
before I am ready
before she is ready
(no one is ever ready)
to bring a tiny human
into this world
into this house
with bassinets high-chair stroller carseat pack-n-play
diapers wipes tiny hats tinier socks clothes burpcloths
bottles pumps nipples lotions soaps towels diaper bags
playmats with mobiles baby gyms bathtubs stuffed cows
cardboard books boppy monitors pacifiers slings rattles
the baby’s great-uncle, schizophrenic,
signs his bi-weekly letters to me
like the weird has come upon him:
it is not a good time for children and babies
as if I don’t know that already
as if I could barricade the doors and windows of this house
with all this stuff
to somehow keep a baby safe
as if inside is any safer
with three needy dogs all teeth and nerves
one pissed-off cat a pissant problem
steps with sharp corners toilet bowls
knives nail files medicines bleach
uncovered outlets extension cords
unlocked cabinet doors trash cans
a pile of prophetic letters
growing on the kitchen table
How true – it’s never a good time, but a baby will bring a special goodness with it. You have collected exhaustive lists and they and the fears are all real. I need this poem,too – grandson #2 is due in 3 short months. Take good care, Sue.
I like “bring a special goodness,” and I hope your grandson will bring that into your world, too.
Ominous poem, especially the ending. Congrats on Going There.
I think there is worry/fear around every pregnancy and whether it is the right time or not. Love the listing and the end is a wow! Good luck to you and family and to it being the right time!
Thank you–he will be well loved no matter what time he comes!
The “turn” with the schizophrenic great-uncle is a surprise. The ending is chilling.