I had a dream that wound itself 
into at least 3 foreign universes;                      
                          I swapped scenario
                          for scenario
                          for you
                          for a kinder you.
Turning under the covers
vampiric as I drained the ink from
every image that reminded me 
of the months we were Something
and not this fictioned lie

In this dream all the people I could’ve loved
                                                 who I didn’t love
were running through
the furrows of hills between 
knifing highways
that I couldn’t cross 
in the nighttime,
             blind, 
                rouletting with the stars
                       of distant headlights. 
                                 For now trapped
              in a hazy dreamscape’s 
     false sunbeam,
everyone was 
          dancing, 
               spinning,  
          like off-kilter 
       rockets.

I was terrified of some great Something 
chasing behind my back.
I was escaping from a distant ill,
creeping like sunset
at my shadow’s heels.

Everyone looked so happy,
                             not fleeing just
                             enjoying the thrill
                             of a boiling heart in motion.

                             In the grass comically green
                             you tore the static
                             like a rip in my eye.
                             Navy dress, 
                            dark hair
                    swirling, 
       Smiling at a hidden cameraman behind me,
lips so red you must’ve torn someone’s else’s
heart out with your teeth 
after you gutted mine.

I ran past, said “fuck you” with an equal smile. 
Smiling because I loved you
and you’re here with me now. 
Fuck you because I hate you 
in all the lives I’ve passed through. 
Fuck you because you let your smile become
cut on my thigh that runs 
                                        down my leg,
your new red lips too pretty to shut up,
lines spilling verses,
red-handed lies. 
                                    In this dream I loved you.
                                    In this dream I hated you.
In this dream you held no thoughts about me.