Orthostatic Hypotension
I stand up too fast.
My blood-starved brain floods
with panic until my heart
can catch back up. But
the sensation doesn’t go away
after a few steps. I cling
to the nearest support, will
the floodwaters back for
twenty seconds, now thirty.
Each successive tick a
warning that something is
really wrong. I think back
to my mother, who fell while
walking, and when checked found
a brain tumor hiding where
they couldn’t get to it.
Urgency for emergency, to
raise an alarm, until the
feeling finally subsides.
I test my two feet for walking,
find that they can and set off,
slowly forgetting I felt death
close in for a short time, then
walk away as if nothing had happened.
6 thoughts on "Orthostatic Hypotension"
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The description of a “Head Rush” into panic that transports the mind through loss of a loved one, grief, acceptance and the deliberate decision to carry on living, is beautiful in its vulnerability.
Thank You, Geoff White.
great description of the experience
Wow! Good poem, plus I learned a lot.
Great capturing of fraility/fear/loss/and finding your feet steady again.
Oof. The way our health can trigger fear can trigger memory is powerful.
I know that this poem must hold a lot of anxiety, but it was truly a delight to read. There’s a humanity to it where we all feel those sudden pangs of fear when things feel out of our control (especially health-wise). Thanks for sharing, Geoff, really like this one!