Reassurance Blues
Last night, I dreamt that my mom
was angry at me for calling her.
So, I texted her this morning
to make sure nothing was wrong.
She called me “silly.”
I knew I should avoid texting.
There was an itch on my spine
and I scratched it. There I was
typing away like I hadn’t fed
something that would raise its head
again.
Because, reassurance is a drug
for people like me.
It floods my veins and runs
straight to my head
where I feel a jolt of serotonin.
And I know I’m supposed to
avoid it. It hurts the body,
the mind, but dear god,
it feels so good. And maybe,
if it kills me, I can die happy.