If you can see us
you know he hasn’t
forgotten you               look at me
I love your crystal ball, finger cymbals
belly dancing music
I love growing food chopping, simmering
grinding my spices mortar-and pestle-fresh too
clove-like nails in thick ham shoulder
cinnamon sticks, smoked paprika, zaatar on toast
jasmine rice enthralled him then         does still
still you hover

I know you’re here and you know
I was the one who sifted through
your art portfolio           gazed at swift sketches
of the artist lover who left you
saved the phi delta theta pin         opened dozens
of tissue-wrapped purses where you hid coins
leafed your journal fragments accusing the one who
you, my one now, with thick lies,
certain he sensed you only settled because your clock ticked
he had no clue, but your sour sorrows waxed, waned over his verdant tries

until you scorched it all

l smell sweat from your thighs
feet tangled in his long legs, an October blood moon
exactly like this night          taste the heat you etched
fading in the furnace now that roars within him and me

Once in a dream down a ruddy, dirt road
Alabama, where you caught him,  you hurtle toward me
body aimed straight into mine       your feet don’t touch ground
I sprint so fleet and sure to my front door, slam
it behind, but not locked           I leap into my overstuffed bed
sink deep, seeking solace        hear your steps

Now when the bed dips on one side
and you thump            I don’t turn      know it’s you
come to rustle me, shake our mattress
let me know you were here first         it’s no dream
I’m always alone             I smile
not going anywhere     you know