Poetic Deconstruction
The workshop writers are into dissection.
Eager surgeons, they cut and hack the body
of my poem without offering anesthesia.
Helmet-lit miners, they pickaxe verse
searching for gold nuggets,
the tabletop strewn with flesh and scree.
I remember a country porch and a garden view
where I sat with a yellow lined pad.
At the feeder, phoebes and blue jays scattered
sunflower seeds and millet onto my pages.
Groundhogs snuffled among my words
while the dog barked his point of view.
Deer snorts echoed through the lead of my pencil.
Sometimes the sun flickered ideas between the lines.
Now the workshop group is driving
my poem through the carwash,
brushing and soaping and waxing.
Trash collectors, they rake the leavings
and roll their bins out to the curb.
I wish they had given me a doggie bag instead
so I could nibble on the trimmings,
later, when my heart gets hungry.
By moonlight, I could gnaw the fatty bones.
21 thoughts on "Poetic Deconstruction"
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What a wonderful gathering of visual and aural images, Sylvia – and the first phoebe, too! Very nice.
Yes! I had to get that phoebe in at least once this month!
Perfect description of a bad workshop!
Thanks, Pauletta. Of course, these are nothing like the ones you run!
We’ve all been there! Excellent description. I love “so I could nibble on the trimmings”.
Thanks, Lauren! Just read your poem on nibbling on nature.
My bed has become my favorite place to write haha
Sounds comfy and quiet!
Love it, especially that last line!
Thanks, Bill. Great to read your work again this year!
Love this one! Gets down to business of workshops!
We’ve all been in one of these, right?? Hope your shower glass is cleaned up and fixed!
Hilariously dark and truthful, a delicious takedown of the workshop experiences we’ve all had. And yet they can be useful despite all the bloodletting. Bravo.
if this isn’t the truth!
I like how you sandwich the organic process of writing between the inorganic nature of some workshop feedback here
love images particularly the ending
You do a great job expressing the visceral nature of opening oneself up to feedback.
“Tabletop strewn with flesh and scree”, brutal! I’ll take the groundhog any day. I hear he’s an honest and fair critic.
Oh dear! The last stanza is a killer/winner.
Sometimes I wonder why we do it to ourselves (the workshops, I mean). Look at the peace that your non-human muses offered. Unadulterated inspiration!
Especially like the carwash and the doggie bag.