try our new beard oil
made of Bay fog,
beet sperm, blood orange,
orange blood, the three eyes
of mutant raven, twitch-thumbed
Instagram followers—

work it into your pubis,
one finger at a time (curled),
one strand, one glib strand,
ladies love your curt breaths,
Neanderthal grunts
in place of open boxes
so lock yourself
like father’s liquor cabinet,
hide your scent behind tobacco,
rosewater and cunnilingus.

try our new facial mask:
Dead Sea scrolls mashed to pulp,
big words uttered by vixens,
sparrow feathers, snail trails,
your mother’s lipstick,
oil slicks on racetracks—

those bags under your eyes,
fill them with hoarded forks
that fill your drawers,
then coat your whole head
like yogurt nuts,
be proactive, probiotic,
your proboscis needs a trim,
the guilt your mother gave you,
take guillotine to it,
then peel off, find newness,
a bright, chemical face.

try our new body balm,
made of a rapeseed, repression,
leftover lasagna, Mondays,
hands of strangers,
yellow lamplight, blue tanlight,
chicken skin on sidewalks—

grease yourself slipshod,
elusive as dodo, as dildo,
as the lessons of holy books,
as the bedrooms of bankers,
rub yourself, the kooks & cronies,
caulk filling your cracks,
blobfish, bottomfeeder,
blubber dripping from chin,
meat juice dripping from rolls,
whipped mashed potato vague,
until you’re O-faced oval,
orangutan lewd,
narcissist nimble.