Yellow tags hang
by rubber bands
on the doorknobs
of every apartment.
Maintenance is coming
to inspect units for damages,
water leaks draining money.
Poses all kinds of problems for me.
There are things within these walls
I don’t want a single soul to see;
empty beer bottles and fast food sacks,
mountains of unwashed laundry, mold. Rot.
This will be my entire weekend or it would be
if I didn’t promise my nephew to go watch his base
ball tournament all the way up in Jefferson, Indiana,
not that this excitement is a burden in itself. Not at all
until the brakes start scraping right before I turn
into the ballpark parking lot an hour and a half away from
home. A home I really really need to get back to. I worry, can
the car even make it? It occurs to me as I drive that I’m al-
ready overdue for an oil change. Just another embarrassment
need to call first thing Monday but no, no! I don’t want it, don’t like
talking on the phone. Can’t God just take something away? Fuck!
I’m ten miles under the speed limit and needed to be there yesterday
tap the brakes tap the brakes tap the brakes don’t slam
slam the lid on the storage container hiding still unwashed laundry, sweep
glass of a bottle I shattered three weeks ago and stepped in twice,
cutting my soles like my soul was cut when she never texted.
Still see her at work, say hello, good morning like where the hell is your heart?
See her smile, see her laugh barbed beauty, see her talk with other guys
see my mechanic on Thursday we made it. Crawled through every cringing
red light stop. Collapse in the waiting room staring at the wall,
settling, just like I will tonight in a bed I made
before work this morning. Mechanic says
Yeah we can get it done today.

Sleep.                              Calm.
                   Rest.                             Peace.
                                   Serenity.

You are never
               as far away
                          as you think you are,

                                                           never 
                             so far from home
       that you can’t return.