i woke up wanting a banjo i say to the blender
“shut up” it says “and just fuck me with your avocados already;
bless me with your banana peels”

but i don’t want to be assaulted. or insulted.
i’m tired of innuendo, insinuation, and intimidation
“how bout some concrete” i ask, setting the blender on the curb.

i hand grind the last 27 grams of good whole bean coffee
pour 12 ounces of boiled water into the french press
a pack of truvia, a teaspoon of heavy cream into a tea cup…

two scrambled eggs
dry toast and turkey bacon…
and the avocado, with soft eyes, just shakes its head at me.