the same friend’s family vacation as last june.
the same awkward pleasantries,
the same cousins playing card games,
the same jokes about needing to lose weight
(I brought carrot cake),
the same going to bed before 10pm.

the same passive aggressive, 
“look how she reacts when I hug her!”
the same complete and utter lack
of self-awareness. 

the same feeling of no one in this room
really wants to be here. 

the same house,
the same pullout couch bed, 
the same counting down the hours
until we can go home. 

everything about this trip is exactly the same. 
except this year
I don’t have wine.