“She let herself go”
I was told to get it together
Even said it to myself
Was told x,y,z will make you happy
“Just claim it for yourself!”
All the messages said
I wasn’t enough 
I was too much here
And too little there
I worked and I worked
And things weren’t fair
I’d gain ground in one area
Fail in another
Did all the things 
To make myself better
Looked for acceptance from others
Read all the books
Joined all the groups
Bought the programs
Bought the pills
Submitted myself to self-abuse
And accumulated bills
Threw my hands up
Asked, “what’s the use?”
Then, fixated on my sorrow
Always tried to convince myself
I’d do better tomorrow
Then, one day, I watched a lady
Help an elderly man cross the street
Watched a tender red leaf
Dance to the ground in fall
Read rich words
Heard the whip-poor-will’s call
Ladled up chili
Inhaled its spicy scent
Studied the lines in my daughter’s hands
And marveled at how her pinky 
Is slightly bent
Then, I really let myself go
Released the reins
Unlocked the ball and chain
And ran, wind in my mane 
Into a place where work is wonder
And where wildness lives within walls
Life was no longer about the making of me
My heart was turned toward mystery
I was being made 
And in that moment
I was free