let me tell you about joan

(I heard my name?)

she is a huge bitch

(That language is very unbecoming.)

she thinks she is always right

(I am just trying to help.)

she is very critical

(You should be capitalizing and using punctuation.)

and she is always telling me what to do

(Do not start a sentence with “and.”)

she hates my body

(I’m just saying it would be smart to lose some weight.)

joan thinks i’m stupid

(At least capitalize my name!)

she is always watching over my shoulder

(A more poetic phrase would be “breathing down my neck,” change it.)

she is always breathing down my neck

(Good. You seem smarter.)

my therapist knows about joan

(It’s a very good thing you’re in therapy, you’re a lunatic after all.)

my therapist doesn’t like joan

(I am not here to be loved, i’m here to keep you from being hated.)

i hate joan

(You should wrap this up, they’re becoming bored. You’re boring. Why are you even writing this?)

i’m gonna wrap this up