Sometimes when I dream *
the curtains are breathing
you call me from upstairs
you wouldn’t recognize me
a black, elemental mist that is
pulsating
nothing solid
to put my arms around
but I carried you forward with me
into my garden
at the first blush of color
there were no words
the moments too pure for words
bubbling with their thousand tiny breaths
like a game of connect the dots
I heard roots
the small
neatly wrapped
blooms, soon to be
translucent green
the hostas
twitchy and fat
seeing how deep I’ve dug
with a spoon of memory
the seed that was its start
where a world peeled
its earthy womb too early
and the world feel apart
but I’m trying to
send you back, back, back
calculating both the journey and return
what I want most
to find you in the real world
nested in an open meadow
with the sun on your body
although we never crossed that boundary
I had to pull myself away from the flames
hold the truth
everything, everything
made sacred
is unstoppable