How many spaces I have occupied in this lifetime
starting first in my mother’s womb
an unexpected surprise
I would learn
leaving me wondering for years 
was I ever really truly wanted here
 after me came a sister and twin brothers t
his made a much more complicated space
very little room shared by many
always looking for a voice and my place 
in this space.
A pattern would establish that would take years to see
always caring for others first
in this space
still trying to find my place 
not ever really knowing if I fit here
in this space.
Next up a family of my own
still no dedicated room or a place that I felt was my space.
beginning to see the choices I made
from the care giving pattern
left me outside looking in 
everyone need more 
it was my job after all 
to care for this family we created
in the space
we occupied  and built a home ,
allow them room to grow and create their own space
searching and looking
finally understanding that space
I desired  was the fire that warmed my home 
whenever I shared my loved
my space was always with me
in my heart 
there is where I found my home.