Your red, white & blue
yard sign says JESUS 2022
OUR ONLY HOPE. 

Lord knows it’s tough,
this election cycle, your guy 
trailing his opponent—

who’s just so cute,
those horns & that tail & that
little pitchfork, & such

a hard worker!—in the polls. 
Me, I don’t have a dog
in this fight. An independent 

in a swing state, I go
back & forth. But what the hell,
I’ll send your guy

a generous donation
since he’s always asking. 
In the meantime, just 

relax. If there’s a recount,
the Supreme Court’s
got your back.