The Cleaner
I went over to John’s apartment a couple days after he died falling from the cliff
he was climbing in the Dragoon mountains, to clear out anything that shouldn’t be seen
by his parents who were coming from Illinois in a few hours for the terrible job
of claiming his body, not wanting to add to their grief, which was different, I’m sure,
from mine, but also heavy, like the skeleton steel of Decatur John once worked.
I had the key he’d given me. I opened the door half-expecting Live Rust on the stereo,
John’s booming hello, the musky funk of pumping iron, but it was
quiet.
I took the weed and the bong I knew so well from the cupboard in the kitchen —
there was a half drunk bottle of Sprite on the counter, a bite from a piece of toast —
sat down with the laptop and erased the bookmarks to porn sites. On the desk:
a poem he was working on, two tickets to a concert — Natalie Merchant, Tigerlilly Tour —
a broken pencil, a half-dozen bottle rockets, leftovers from the Fourth,
wicks trembling in the breeze of the AC —John kept it meat locker cold —
a parking ticket the city of Tucson would never see paid. I left the dirty clothes
on the floor of the bathroom, the toothbrush on the edge of the sink,
looked in the chest of drawers and under the bed for the pistol I never found.
When I felt I’d done the best I could, I pulled the door closed and left with my stash,
a few grievous mementos, the feeling of having conducted an illicit act
tempered by one of a good deed done.
Back at my place, baked on fine weed, I waited until dark and launched a tear
into the clear night sky, one more nameless star exploding above my head.
My wail like a gun shot— the neighbors’ light came on.
19 thoughts on "The Cleaner"
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Love how you’ve intermixed the protection of his parents with the speakers memories and final explosion of grief. Well done. Sad story.
A masterpiece
of storytelling
and the wrench
of a certain loss
So sad but written so well! I like how we don’t know much about the parents but the way they are protected from some of the details of their sons life makes the reader’s heart break for them even more. The details paint a vivid picture of his life, and the ending gives us a powerful image of overwhelming grief.
This is a poem like no other I’ve ever read
Wonderful as always, Bill. The saving grace here, if there is one, is that you got baked on his weed. Good for you.
Powerful poem about the writer of the poem. I like a poem with real specific details—example—Natalie merchant tigerlily tour, two tickets. Sets the time of everything, and parents coming from Illinois—what does this say about the adventurer and that he worked in Decatur . . . . So much said and not said. I used to live in Peoria—caterpillar truck country! Great poem, maybe even more poem like if you eliminate some of the ands, the, a, I —you get the idea—will enhance the images and move story even more. Really love this one!
Thanks for the comment, Kim. I see some areas in need of revision — this is one that I’ll keep working with.
What they said. Excellent!
Damn, Bill! This so honest — it’s breathtaking. The details really tell the story. I almost passed out after reading it.
Absolutely love the reference of the title !!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of the best things I’ve read all year.
The detailed way you put is in time and place is so well done.
Great ending.
I echo ……Excelent.
P.s. “a few grievous mementos, the feeling of having conducted an illicit act
tempered by one of a good deed done.”
…………………um, wow, he said, his eyes lofted. His hands follow the same, just wow.
YES!!!
Details made the poem alive and painful. Bravo.
i love how – in the end- he is set into the stars..
like all the really great myths.
Remained completely enthralled. I watched you notice. I felt the conflicting emotions of deed well done and that which comes with secret cover ups, leaving with what likely was one of many connections.
Loved the provision of music and timeframe clues. And the overall manner and order of the storytelling. And last and most brilliant and painful of all is conveying your grief at the end. In such a unique way, bringing back that firework. Giving it to the sky. To become something beautiful, even though you mostly note it as fleeting. And “wailing”… pointed word choice that conveys that sharp and overwhelming grief expression.
So much more, that needs not even be commented on with my obvious commentary, lol/
But I truly love your writing style.
Gorgeous and specific and candid. I’ve been enjoying your poems all month and this is no exception–it might be my favorite one yet.
A poem of friendship and grief well done!
Took my breath away! I think all our lights came on with that one!
Geez louise, that last line. Definitely one to keep working on (I see you said that above!). But it’s all here for sure. Like others said, the details themselves do the heavy lifting. But damn, that last line. … I wonder where you’ll take it from here. So much of the poem feels like it exists in a particular narrative form and rhythm and that last line really shifts the sound for me. I think that’s perfect though. Wakes you up a bit.