I always thought that pickles came from ponds
That somewhere out there in the countryside
Among rolling hills were large pickle farms
And on those farms were countless pickle ponds

When I grew up, I knew what I would do
I’d become a pickle scuba-farmer
To gather pickles I’d need scuba gear
To dive deep beneath the green pickle ponds

In those green ponds grew strands of pickle-vine
Taller than a building they’d grow in height
Then I would get to work picking pickles
I’d fill my net with as much as I could  

After diving I’d return to my boat
Filling my jars with the catch of the day
Then I would splash the jar into the pond
Filling it with juice direct from the source

After a very long day on the farm
Next to my gear, I’d relax on the dock 
Smelling all the vinegar in the air
And eating all the free pickles I could

But as we grow up, we face some hard truths
Santa, Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny
Responsible for letting down our youth
But for me, it was the discovery…

Of Cucumbers