our country in turmoil, I stay home
in a shameful cocoon of self-preservation    

told to use this time of isolation
to examine unconscious racism
to find ways to make a difference
to express gratitude to our doctors and nurses
to reflect on life’s priorities and meaning
to redefine relationships
to write, every day    

I fail

the news of deaths and violence
the masks and the fear and the heat
relationships transferred to digital screens
the quiet of my house  

leave me lost
suspended in fog
barely moving