I call it “The Special Pain”
That gut wrenching feeling of betrayal.
A sadness that can’t even be called sadness anymore.
“The Special Pain”
That numb feeling of carelessness.
The hollowness of broken rib cages.
“The Special Pain”
The bleeding of busted lips and rope burn.
The screaming of scared kids and angry parents
“The Special Pain”
Knowing that he never loved you and you’ll always be another body on his list
Hearing the voices in your head and seeing shadows on the walls.
“The Special Pain”
It only comes to the special people.
The people that are so messed up that normal pain isn’t enough.
The people that are so twisted and full of self hate and abuse that normal hurt doesn’t hurt anymore.
“The Special Pain”
It’s for the broken, abused, unloved, and unsalvageable.
It’s for the victims, the innocent, the pure, and the perfect.
“The Special Pain”
It’s not designed for description
It’s not described for depiction.
It’s for killing.
It’s murderous.
Full of venom.
There is no escaping “The Special Pain”.
It stomps your throat, breaks your jaw, shatters your soul.
When you’re hanging onto the cliff with your fingertips, it’s the heavy boot crushing your knuckles forcing you to fall
And fall
And fall
And fall
Until the falling ends and everything stops.
That’s how you escape “The Special Pain”