I woke up
from a bad dream
about a bad friend’s
birthday,
and in the text my grandmother sent me
about my birthday
she deadnamed my partner,
which I know was on purpose
because she said it was.
seven unread emails,
all of which needed to be responded to
yesterday.
the kitchen is a mess,
the laundry is never-ending,
our new bed frame makes
gouges
in the beautiful hardwood floors
of our rental apartment.
we don’t have enough recycling space
for the number of wine bottles
we go through in a week,
so they sit and stare at us constantly,
asking us if we feel ashamed.
my partner has long Covid;
they cannot afford to get it again.
two days ago,
my coworker tested positive.
every shift I skip to keep them safe
is a shift I don’t get paid for.
I paid my rent today with money
that I don’t have.
the U.S. Military
tweeted today
in celebration of Pride Month
and the comments underneath are
disgusting.
my representatives
are working overtime
to ensure my reproductive rights
are taken away
and they refuse to
pass gun legislation that
protects me.

these are just the things that I woke up thinking about.

I have always been quite the optimist
and
I know that everything is not bad.
but I am waiting for the world to have
it’s Tower moment
and honestly,
it can’t come soon enough.