this is not a love poem:

how do you put into words how lonely you are

asking for a friend

how do you write how fearful you are that this loneliness will never end

again

asking for a friend

will anyone relate

will anyone find meaning in my senseless ramblings of how badly i want to find belonging in someone

will someone read this poem and think it’s art

or title it a complaint by a single twenty something

will someone care that

sometimes in my most private moments i think about if i will ever find the love i crave

as if all of my desperate attempts to distract myself

is me just binding my time

till i find a perfect person to complete me

and i will no longer be sad

or angry

or broken

sometimes i wonder

if i’ve become too bitter to love

every year i spend spinning on this earth

my heart blackens

a dark hole only growing darker and more empty

i wonder

if soon a year

will turn into years

and i will still be this unhappy

this stagnant

and there will never be a picturesque wedding invitation with my name on it

littering my friend’s fridge door

i worry

that i will spend the rest of forever

forcing sleep that will not peacefully come

in an empty bed.

i worry

that i am not guaranteed

growing old with someone.

that i soon will learn if there is a difference in being lonely at 21

and being lonely at 52

i worry

that i will never have someone

to write love poems about.