What do you call a woman sitting at an airport bar

heelspantsbeltblazer sitting up straight;

at-ease?

I used to think becoming her 

was a matter of perception.

ie. manipulation of the viewer’s thinking, and

what their seeing…

A fake it until you make it. 

 

Tonight, I read Joan Didion’s essay, 

“On Self Respect”,

and it makes me think about dating. 

How many of us have chosen partners who perceive us 

well yet 

do not fully see us?

 

I know it’s moreso a matter of internal position. 

How do I feel about I? 

 

But how seamlessly do the flaws come out overtime without prodding?

How much must I know about myself to

put forth the true version?