Traffic
workers in florescent orange vests
jackhammer
dig
&
fill
potholes formed over seasons of asphalt
thinning
itself
to
reach
the break
between heatwaves
&
balling itself into a defensive fist
to knuckle through
another colossal winter’s chill
car engines
purr
roar
or
whisper an electric hum
in an improvised symphony
nobody wanted to hear
21 thoughts on "Traffic"
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Interesting shape that echoes the content. Cool!
Thank you, Kevin!
we all ball up and push through cycles of being worn thin
Yes, we certainly do. Thank you for reading!
Very effective the way you arranged your poem on the page. Also like how the image below can be applied to ourselves as humans”
“balling itself into a defensive fist
to knuckle through
another colossal winter’s chill”
Thank you, Karen! I definitely see the versatility in that line. I always appreciate your kind close reads. 💜
Great job with white-space tension. And “in an improvised symphony/nobody wanted to hear” amen!
Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed this one. Sitting in yesterday’s traffic was not so enjoyable. At least a poem was born in it. Thanks for reading and leaving such kind feedback.
Well done! I especially was intrigued by “seasons of asphalt.”
Thank you, Nancy. I was looking at all the layers the workers hammered and dug. I thought about how many times coats were added over the years. Thank you for reading!
Form is terrific, HA. “knocking through another colossal winter’s chill” jack-hammered my heart.
Thanks, Bill! Glad you enjoyed this one.
Love the energy and movement in “balling itself into a/defensive fist /to knuckle through /another colossal winter’s chill”
Really loving how your poems’ meaning and movement shape your poems!
Thank you, Pam! I really appreciate your feedback. I am happy to hear that you find meaning in my little poems. 💜 This one was born out of deep frustration while sitting in traffic yesterday. I am super glad you like this one! Something good came of the chaos.
The movement of this piece gives instructions, but this is one I think would be great on a mic or recording too! Great sounds. Love:
another colossal winter’s chill
car engines
purr
roar
or
whisper an electric hum
Thank you, Shaun! It’s cool to “hear” this in a different way, and such a positive one, too. Those sounds were driving me nuts yesterday. 😆
Thanks for always reading and leaving such kind feedback!
I guess things like traffic jams and cigarettes can at least be good for writing poetry! Very inventive with form and sounds! Love that you incorporated seasons and the mention of in your poem – “potholes formed over seasons of asphalt” Music as symphony softens the blow of construction.
Absolutely! Thank you, Sylvia. I always appreciate your kind reads. 💜
Excellent use of form to convey your content! Plus great imagery!
Thank you, Linda. The traffic was miserable yesterday, but hey, we got a poem out of it. There’s always poetry. 💜 Thank you for reading.
You can make an ordinary moment into something creative every time H.A.! I like how the white space represents the stop and go frustration of traffic.