Every time it gets me.
Checking my stairs to see if she’s there,
Checking the corners of my room for cameras.
Every time I remember.

Slouching over,
Turning over,
Seeing her standing in my door way,
Looking at me with her phone light glowing under her chin,
Like she’s telling the story of a monster,
one she will soon become.
Like she’s just waiting, wanting, an opportunity
to throw me around like a ragdoll.
I know I shouldn’t do it,
I know I’m to blame.

But every child deserves a parent.
not every parent deserves a child.
and they say it’s just strict parenting.