There is no rain at the moment. Some of the plants dug up from our neighbor’s yard on Sunday are still in the garden shed. We planted a few that day, then the rain came and we saved the last for later. I asked Larry to move them to the patio so we would see them and not forget about them. They may already be too far gone. I should’ve moved them myself. This is about worrying about who goes first. It is a much more present reality than it was 38 years ago when we first got together. Now I pay close attention to his every task. Could I do it If he wasn’t here? I think I’d find a way with most chores. It’s the money management, bill paying details I lack. Once we made an agreement I would take over. That didn’t last long. In fact it never began. I don’t know if it was because he wouldn’t let go, or I never embraced the task. I am stuck here between thinking I should do something about it now and not worry about it. I know, if it becomes necessary, I’ll figure it out.

2025

95 degrees, Larry

plays Gurdjieff music