WHAT DIDN’T HAPPEN WHEN I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE
In case you were wondering (and why wouldn’t you?), these things did not happen when I was in the sixth grade:
I didn’t take out a mortgage (that would come later)
I didn’t lose my virginity
World War III didn’t start (but it was close)
Nixon wasn’t elected President (that would come later)
I didn’t get bar mitzvah’d (that would come later)
I didn’t get a recording contract with a major label (still hasn’t happened).
I didn’t have surgery (happened earlier, then later)
Nobody walked on the moon (that would come later)
We didn’t have a cross burned on our front lawn
My parents didn’t get divorced (did not come later, never happened).
Castro was not assassinated
Khrushchev did not bury us (but Putin’s working on it)
A tornado did not blow our house away
Happy Chandler wasn’t always happy.
There was no rapture
Elvis did not die (that would come later)
I did not steal a car for a joy ride
I did not join Boy Scouts
I did not have a near death experience
My class did not take a field trip to the Cayman Islands
I did not do heroin
I did not get a dog (that would come later)
I did not try sky diving.
I did not vote in any election or referendum (that would come later)
I did not get a book published
I did not, to my knowledge, eat quinoa (that would come later)
The government did not take away our guns (didn’t have any).
Esperanto was not taught in class or spoken at home
JFK did not stay at Frank Sinatra’s house in an addition built especially for such a visit.
I did not lose my virginity
Wait, I already said that (but, you guessed it, later).
4 thoughts on "WHAT DIDN’T HAPPEN WHEN I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE"
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I liked this poem a lot!
Thank you.
Really good and enjoyable.
Were you in 6th in ’62?
Thank you. A couple of years earlier.