What if the air in Texas 

is thick enough to choke me

What if the mountains crumble 

because they’re not resting on my shoulders

What if I open my mouth and nothing comes out

just a whole bunch of gasps 

What if the plane takes off 

but never lands 

What if I stopped making excuses 

for my fear

and let myself feel it 

What if I let myself sleep tonight 

instead of twitching awake 

because the feeling of sleep feels a whole lot like dying 

What if I just let myself make mistakes 

and count them as blessings 

instead of sins

What if  I stopped asking questions 

and started searching for  answers?