I’m the captain 
of the silence police. 

It’s a silly job that 
I take quite seriously. 

Not so seriously as to
grow a mustache. 

Just enough to write 
a citation to the dog 

for squirrel barking 
(pretending I know how 

to spell squirrel on my 
oversized, official silence 

police notepad.) And just 
enough to give the preteen 

a warning for the noise
violation coming from 

the speakers in her room.
Excuse me, Miss! You need 

to slow down! Step over 
to the couch with your pillow, 

you need to rest. Trust 
you’ll be well-protected

from any minor