She carries her thoroughbred legs
with pride. She’s the majorette
in her own marching band, leads
her own parade. Her Mama told her
she could do anything and she believed
it. Her wide smile, the embodiment of joy.
She scans the audience as though
it holds heaven on earth.
How could your heart not break
at that rapture, that promise.
sometimes
i feel like
i’m floating
on stagnant water
or driving down
a deadend road
so i swim
to new waters
and i get out
of my car
and i walk
off the road
In Response To Actions I Do Not Understand
Mr Trumpahoe why’d you pick Mexico to create disorder?
Don’t you like our friends south of the border?
Don’t you know Mr Trumpahoe they like to farm,
cook, clean, eat, be happy, live and let live and do no harm?
Mr Trumpahoe I want to know “Why doth you protest so much?”
Maybe it is you who is the evildoer, the bad apple, the nut.
Mr Trumpahoe are you the fellar who is the smellar?
Are you the one it takes to know one?
Do you wear a thong lined with lace
that cuts your crack in half and causes your sick looking face?
Do you claim to hate transgenders
cause down under you’re on a bender?
Why Mr Trumpahoe do you always put on a show?
Who is your marionette, inquiring minds want to know?
Mr Trumpahoe I’d love to see who pulls your strings.
Was it a deal gone bad, an unpaid debt, did they pierce a ring in your dingaling?
Mr Trumpahoe did your mamma make you suck a phallic pole
just to create your mouth’s peculiar shape like that of a horses butt hole?
If everyone in the world asked you to shut up
in exchange for a hug and wise words to give it up
Mr Trumpahoe would you, could you,
just let go of being such a monumental asshole?
A fog crept over the mountain
to tuck me in safely between the hills
to sing me lullabies from afar
to give me hope that I’m not missing much
outside these mountains
because even the fog disappears once it leaves them.
my younger self needed so much more guidance and protection than she got
sometimes I wish I could go back and take her hand-
show her a more gentler path to the world’s truths
but I’m afraid of all the questions she would ask me.
I’m afraid I don’t have the answers she needs to hear yet.
my present self needs so much more self love and acceptance than she has
sometimes I wish I could jump forwards to my older self
and see how she turned out
but I’m afraid the answers to my younger self’s questions would be the same as they are now.
I’m afraid I won’t change in the ways I need want to
I’m afraid I’ll still hate myself
(but do I really?)
if I could stop filtering my truth
for my own ears and
pull it straight from my veins
I’d grab a mirror, look myself in the eye, and say;
I don’t hate you (I don’t.)
I just want you to be someone
you’re not ready to be yet (maybe ever)
And that’s okay
I love you (I really do)
we’re going to be okay
i’m gonna go slip my Skin off to hand wash under the bath faucet
soaps and creams and lathering and rinsing
braid my hair real tight at the nape of its neck,
twist the nerves and stringy bits clung to the backs of its thighs
maybe i could go to work this Sticky and Red and Ugly
no, probably not, i might scare the kids
maybe just walk to the liquor store
i wouldn’t match my I.D. if i wanted a beer, though
i soak up the steam in the bathroom
rub off some of the toothpaste spit on the mirror
i can’t stand to get to the elbow creases and stretched stomach right now
let that skin soak
sit on the counter and get something out of my eye with a meaty pink finger
Laying awake with the weight of the world
pressing down
thinking of you again.
Life while being in love
steady as the midnight rain
that makes everything else diminish.
Like oncoming headlights on a dark rainy road
so commanding that only concentrated focus
will allow survival in the coming moments.
The extended hug when needed most
given without request
that is enchantingly timed with precision of need.
Glances from a distance
that carry more magnitude
than a Tolstoy novel.
Unseen auras entangled
witnessed by knowing the arrival
and absence of you.
Assurance of waking up next to you
knowledge that advancing years
may change that in a moment.
