Posts for 2020 (page 29)

Category
Poem

How Blessed

Almost feels like a forbidden guilty pleasure
to sit across from my dad at the table, 
sipping coffee as he browses motorcycles
on his iPad and I sift through tiny homes
for future design inspiration.  We chat,
intermittently, as the heat starts to roll
across five acres of yard, grass that,
according to my dad, “aches to be cut.”
How blessed am I that most mornings
are spent like this, drinking in the day?
I find myself gazing too long across 
the table, stirring my coffee idly 
as I send mental memos to myself:
This is how my dad adjusts his trifocals
to read the fine print. This is how he takes
his second cup of coffee, almost black
with a touch of half-and-half.  This is how
I feel, waking up to a spot at this table—
and I allow myself to both remember
everything and revel in these moments,
somehow all at the very same time.


Category
Poem

Shadows

faint light filters through
dark clouds of silt flourishing
apocalyptic


Category
Poem

fiending

anger is addictive.
this relentless rage,
a constant low-grade fever
running rampant in my body.
a slight simmer stuck
just under my skin.
it has been the antidote
for the anxiety which ails me-
but i am not safe 
against all the other ways
it’s destroying my body.


Category
Poem

Wooden Grace and Faithfulness

Not a rolltop but a fine piece with a finer role
oak, solid, heavy and heavily dependable and trustworthy
its wood grain uniquely marred by bleeding Sharpies,
hostile hot glue, glamorous glitter, and hot drinks that
missed a coaster and left a white ring on a tawny top

The loyal desk has seen its fair share of my craze
lists of tasks done and (whoops!) undone
sentiments received and sent out to global corners
art, creativity blunders (thank you, Pinterest,) crafts galore
self-teaching of many subject matters and self-loathing
hours of planning for events, vacations, tomorrow’s menu
a plethora of books, magazines, report cards, junk mail

She has hosted the signing of important documents and business deals
photos being handled, poured over, scanned, saved to the cloud
the discovery and claim of curious ancestors and weird relatives
observation of budgets managed, bills paid, my eyebrows raised

My darling timber companion without ado has
endured countless sitting butts and coasters with coffee and tea
supported the immeasurable highway of internet possibilities 
and the magic of the WiFi router resulting in smiles all over the casa

She has held my weary sleeping-head and watched ankles swell
put up with food crumbs and my ridiculous number of pens and notebooks
witnessed infinite words penned on paper and typed on a keyboard
been covered by plentiful piles of clutter and holy hella messes
skived by lines of highlighter and escaped correcting tape along page’s edge

She has stood firm with me through scandalous crap and by me
as I yelled at kids from my workspace, during brainstorms
stood by and caught rains of grief, sadness, anxiety, and depression

My dear desk has been the one I turn to, my silent partner,
my personal assistant and perhaps my biggest secret keeper 
the one who’s seen me through all my feels and skills
a sacrificial life to become my desk and constant friend

May I never take her for granted


Category
Poem

We wear the mask that smiles and lies

We wear the mask that smiles and lies to save our lives
Because to do otherwise
Might mean death or destruction of our bodies, our souls, our hearts

We smile when told
We lie when challenged
We stifle our protests
Because to do otherwise
Might mean death or destruction of our bodies, our souls, our hearts

We cross streets, office spaces, and factory floors
We playfully bat away violating hands
We put on overcoats
Because to do otherwise
Might mean death or destruction of our bodies, our souls, our hearts

We carefully voice our requests
We cautiously word our questions
We painfully bury our accusations
Because to do otherwise
Might mean death or destruction of our bodies, our souls, our hearts

We wear the mask that smiles and lies to save our lives
Because to do otherwise
Might mean death or destruction of our bodies, our souls, our hearts


Category
Poem

New York, November 2019

Who knew me running all over Manhattan
streets, subways, lyfts in November’s freezing

winds would be (maybe) the last time I will
ever visit the city that never sleeps.  I feel

I dreamt this.  Cocktails at the top of the rock
overlooking Atlas holding the heavens.  A

private tour of Christies including behind
the scenes how they handle their antique

ceramics.  My friends, shoppers, go to
Chinatown and I am on my own to go to

Macys decorated highly for Christmas.
Herald Square, Broadway and 34th.

I am dreaming even then I feel I am dreaming
but I am not.

I could not walk without bumping into another
someone who was looking up as I was.

Naive.  Unguarded.  Should we have known?

I take a video from the plane over the Hudson,
watch the skyline as we ascend

until the fog and clouds shut down my view.


Category
Poem

Smell It

A Saudi Arabian dust storm blows across
the ocean                 
                  parachutes invisibly from atmosphere  
fine enough to slip through my nose, into my
mind           
          reminding me that everything touches
everything else.                            

                              I ride  a camel in the desert.
I am the moon shining where she steps.                                     

                                                                        This
palpable world of sense is a contraction that
seems an expansion.                                      
                                      Einstein says space and
time are persistent illusions.        
                                                    Muhammad says
God is closer than the jugular vein in my neck.                                                     


Category
Poem

Carving

Hiding inside thick dry wood
a shape waits to be cut free
and brought to life
again.


Category
Poem

untitled

today is your
birthday
though we haven’t
celebrated
in more than
six years.

this day should be
joyous
and instead is 
agony
“happy birthday” 
feels more like an 
obituary. 

the first time you told me
about the voices 
I laughed
we were 18
and I thought it was a
joke. 

I must have offended 
them 
for they have ripped you
apart
and taken you from 
me
piece by piece 
every day
since. 

I want to tell the
shell of you 
“happy birthday” 
today
but would they even 
allow you to
listen? 


Category
Poem

Could Permanently Damage

Congestion
Mucus fills the lungs 
Could permanently damage

Children have to be released by July 17 
Without their parents
Judge’s orders

Why in the hell didn’t the judge order a full release
Of everyone?
People are in cages for God’s sake

Aluminum blankets and mothers sweet arms
The last time most of those kids
Will see their parents
Could permanently damage

America is disgusting
No human being is illegal
Especially people who try their damndest
Just to keep their families
Safe
Healthy
Happy