Posts for 2020 (page 37)

We were the original
latch-key kids, confined
to the house after school,
sustained on Mallomars,
Ritz and Velveeta,
Howdy Doody and the Mickey Mouse Club.
Not allowed to ride bikes
to skate in the street
to meet up with friends.  

In our hunger for adventure
we claimed a New World,
christened it Spooky Driveway.
Our secret forest of dense weeds, junk trees
and mysterious sounds
faded furniture and broken bottles
at the dead end, a dark and thorny thicket.  

Daily, on the walk to 4th grade
we would detour into the driveway
frighten ourselves
imagining animals or intruders
hoot and shriek and spook
each other as best we could
run out breathing hard
into our safe post-war
neighborhood of neat row houses.  

By 5th grade we recognized
our claim as an overgrown,
undeveloped lot.  

By 6th, our innocent taste
for adventure was cut short
by disturbing lessons on growing up female
that conjured
a kidnapper or rapist
behind every tree 
and in every dark place.
We never went back.

i miss biting my nails,
but now i know how gross it is.
i miss that click of completion between my teeth.
i miss wearing my black lipstick,
but there’s no point with the face mask.
i miss feeling strong and intimidating.
i miss hugging people
even though i am NOT a hugger.
i miss feeling another human’s touch.
i miss going out
even though i am a big-time home-body introvert.
i just miss the option of adventure.
i miss my chest hurting
and not worrying if this is the beginning of how it’s going to end for me.
i miss breathing your air
and sharing that breeze of life between us.

Do you remember?
When we left our doors unlocked
For our friends to drift in like a breeze
Cool, sweet air flowing through our houses
As invisible as it was clean?

When our minds and hearts, now exhausted and barricaded
Were left unguarded but not endangered
By the possibility of a foreign perspective?
Now they exist mostly in echo chambers
To insulate and filter
Much like a mask over the face

But what of our eyes, still exposed?
Blinded by the rush of it all
Blinded by the harsh interior light of the refrigerator
As we rummage for midnight snacks
Carefully picking out the untouched berries
Amidst the splotches of mold
Lest we get sick

Abraded fingers tangled
what lovely bomblets
pass between us—
hammocked together,
wind chimes stir
teeth, nails, touch
wonderful notched hollow
of the offered throat:
memory & motion.

I’ve done my fair share
Of listening to John Prine in the car
I’ve fought for Blaze Foley
To be considered one of the greats
Ramblin’ Jack Elliott covers “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right,”
And it makes me want to hear the real deal

My dark rooms are full of sun gleams 
Coming through the window
From the cracks in the blinds
Musty stories and cassette tape blues

The first time I heard Odetta,
My head exploded
Chills went through my entire body
And I felt Shaken
And happy

Bolts and washers used to surround the dirt floors of the garage
As I looked and looked for tiny scraps of the unbuilt
To put art on

Old transistor radios and CB’s followed the walls
And a welder screamed violence in the corner
Rusty metal poles supporting tables 
That hold tools and boxes of junk 
What can I bring back? 

there has been nothing to match
turning those horror VHS 
over in my hands feeling
the etchings of that foil art
wondering where that woman
on the front cover came from
and how to find this place

or the feeling of sitting
in the bedroom with 
movie posters crooked 
on the walls, and the toy 
sets sticking out from
under the bed
while staring at 
at those clear cases
stacked
of movies and games
a week’s worth
crammed into two nights

the weekends became 
a fever dream of sleepless nights
that devoured the first 
part of the weekend
because there was never
any 
joy
found in a Monday

Two years old— I still
have the card you
gave me on my second
birthday. Shaped like
Winnie the Pooh as if you
had known that
would be our show. You both
were the Tiger and Piglet
to my Pooh Bear.
The eye-catching glitter
covering the 2 gets everywhere,
like I’m crying sparkles
whenever I see it.
Remembering the other
sixteen birthday cards
and thinking of how I
will forever and always see
your face in the Hallmark
card aisle. How you always
ensured everyone
got a card, no matter what.
You are
sitting on my heart
and will be “giggling
and wiggling” for years to come,
sending me a
“Hip-hip-POOH-ray” day.

-Quotes are from the actual birthday card-

The average woman eats anywhere from 4-9 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.

I still wear red lipstick because she loved me in it.

Taylor Swift sang about her “red lip classic thing,” but more often she wears a pinky nude.

It may shock you to know that Taylor did not write all her songs.

For every song that a writer sells, there are 1,000 songs that go nowhere.

Lennon/McCartney cowrote “Nowhere Man,” and the band sang in harmony.

Harmony was a result on my StregthsFinder test, which means that I hear multiple perspectives to avoid conflict.

When my plans conflicted with our relationship, I took the easy way out and moved to Arkansas.

Arkansas is what’s called a red state.

The most famous red lipstick shade is Ruby Woo by MAC.

I wooed her without any makeup; I left her and it took years for us to make up.

The average woman will spend approximately a year and a half single when a relationship ends.

the lake water is salty 
and to push underneath takes
force. 
green encapsulates 
your eyes; 
growing deeper. 
the hum of 
Margaritaville 
disappears when your
fingers sink into the 
bottom.

From ancient use we know
These names of assembly:

A clowder of kittens,
A murder of crows,
A skulk of foxes,
An ambush of tigers,
A charm of goldfinches,
A wisdom of wombats,
A lamentation of swans. 

Now we need new ones,
To meet the altered times. 

A muffle of mask-wearers,
A chap of hand-washers,
A pantomime of social distancers,
A scurry of grocery shoppers,
A pining of quarantiners, 
A graticule of Zoom participants,
A mendacity of politicians.