Mother Nature is giving is giving us a big ‘f–k y’all’ right now.
Instead of our humid summers,
we have crazy thunderstorms with tornado warnings.
The trees took longer than normal to grow their coats back,
and the animals are rebelling a little bit more.
Wait, you’re telling me you didn’t read about the alligator who ate that old lady?
It is our fault.
Our takeout chinese is floating in the Pacific as we speak.
Waiting for a seal to choke on it.
If we didn’t need those factories maybe the glaciers would be getting bigger.
Wait, do we need those factories?
I mean the people before us did just fine without phones and hair dryers,
without AC and sports cars and condoms.
Humans love having more.
Maybe that’s why Mother Nature hates us so much.
We didn’t settle for what she gave us.